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(Source: doctaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

asmilinggoddess:

this show is incredible

faptop:

WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD WHY IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR THIS TERRIBLE

(Source: mountainmoonvolcano)

tastefullyoffensive:

"Get down, Mr. President!" [video]

tastefullyoffensive:

"Get down, Mr. President!" [video]

(Source: lawebloca)

donpardosaymyname:

lostiel:

#HOT DAD JOKES

(Source: sinii)

(Source: thesimpsonswayoflife)

fuckyeahvintage-retro:

London underground, 1952-68 © Getty Images

b4dwu1fe:

fifty-shadesofgay:

pleatedjeans:

buttersafe

OH THANK GOD

I had so much anxiety in the beginning of this.

(Source: fifthharmony)

bencumber:

For anyone visiting London: the essential pilgrimage stops 

unexplained-events:

The Mata Mata Turtle

Found mostly in South America. Its shell resembles bark, and its head resembles fallen leaves, making it an expert at camouflage. It is also an expert at looking like my nightmares.

(Source: memewhore)

forkvegans:

toutcru:

I’ve been peeling mangoes the wrong way until now! Just did myself a large cantaloupe smoothie using this method it is so quick it blown my mind!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW MY JAW DROPPED SO HARD THIS IS A NEW ERA OF MY LIFE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

forkvegans:

toutcru:

I’ve been peeling mangoes the wrong way until now!
Just did myself a large cantaloupe smoothie using this method it is so quick it blown my mind!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW MY JAW DROPPED SO HARD THIS IS A NEW ERA OF MY LIFE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

agirlnamedmomo:

I found this while going through my old dollhouse stuff. It reads, “hi, my name is nora and i am moving away from this dollhouse. I’m sick of writing in notebooks that i got from the black doll market and writing with a pen almost the size of me. I am planning on going to Minneapolis. All i have to do is mail myself there after i find out how and figure out what state Minneapolis is in.”